12 Tips to Make the Most of a Meal Train
Meal trains are popular which I LOVE and want to encourage, however, I’ve found both in my own experiences postpartum and hearing others stories that, despite good intentions, meal trains often don’t live up to the full extent of how supportive they really could be. Cheesy casseroles on repeat, a mound of dishes and containers on your kitchen counter waiting to be returned, and a fridge potentially overflowing with leftovers you can’t keep up with can unfortunately feel more like a burden than a support. This blog post addresses these things and much more, and is written for both the expecting mother who wants to be supported with food, and the friend/family member/partner etc, who wants to either set up a meal train for a friend or participate in one. I’ll go back and forth with tips for both. I hope you find it a helpful way to either really set yourself up with exactly what you need to stay well nourished postpartum, or feel empowered to really bless someone with meals in a way you know will be a true support.
Bon appétit!
Why food is important and why to start an organized meal train:
Nourishing, nutrient dense food (and plenty of it!) is a vital part of a healthy postpartum. You need it to keep up your energy and to help replenish the minerals you lost from pregnancy/childbirth. If you’re breastfeeding, you need it to help nurture your baby, and it’s crucial for helping along your healing process. Nourishing food is important, and rest is equally so! You’re not expected to be up preparing food when you have a new baby! You’ll need plenty of support to help you stay well fed while prioritizing rest as well. Enter meal trains!
Having an organized meal train is a great way to:
Harness some much needed support
Guide people in a loving way to what is most beneficial for you and your family
Help hold boundaries around who you’re communicating with postpartum, around meal drop offs and so much more that we’ll discuss below.
2. Have it set it up before baby comes:
It might take some time to get everyone’s email, to spread the word and start having people sign up. I’ve found it’s also helpful to the people making meals to have a little time in advance so they can plan it around their schedule. I’d recommend having it set up about 2-4 weeks before your due date. Of course babies can come earlier or later than expected, but many people won’t sign up until your little bundle arrives anyways so I find this is typically not a problem. Or if someone signed up and the baby isn’t here yet, you can either ask them to bring a freezer meal or to move their sign up to a later time.
3. How to be gracious but bold in asking for what you want:
First of all, you can and should absolutely say what you want. There is no room for guilt about making requests right now, you can be bold and also gracious.
When you’re setting up your meal train add a list of your favorite foods as well as anything you don’t like or need to steer clear of (see #4)
Make a pinterest board with recipes you already love or know you would like that you can link to in your meal train.
Make your request a compliment or a gift! Here’s a couple examples…
Compliment: “You make the most incredible _______ and it sounds so amazing, do you think you could make that?” or “Hey instead of the cheesy taco casserole you put down as your meal, could you make a big batch of your famous chicken noodle soup? That sound so comforting right now.”
Gift: Someone suggested that you hand out your favorite recipes at your baby shower or other gathering for people to make for you. I love this idea! You would get exactly what you like and they would get the gift of a new recipe in their repertoire! Maybe write a little note of gratitude on each one.
If you need some recipe ideas for postpartum, I use the Nouris(her) Doula E-cookbook the most and also love the Held Postpartum Recipe Bundles for great snack recipes to give people.
4. Navigating food allergies/sensitivities/restrictive diets:
If you have food allergies/sensitivities or a pretty restricted diet, it might feel like having a meal train is not a possibility—but there are ways to be creative about being supported with food stil.
Describe in detail what your restrictions are, what needs to be avoided and what needs to happen so there’s no cross contamination.
Be more selective in who you invite to join the meal train and keep it to people you know will understand and be respectful of your needs. for example your friend who also cooks gluten-free for themselves might be a better addition than your neighbor who doesn’t understand food allergies.
Again, this is a case where giving people specific recipes could be helpful and you can use the Pinterest board idea from #3 or hand out recipes to people directly.
See #7 and add some of those things so people who can’t be allergy friendly have options too!
“Nourishment…
is more than a bowl of soup: It is the sensation of being cherished and sustained. It comes from the way you feel inside your home, or the way an intimate friend sees and hears you fully. But it starts with a bowl of soup, because that is the simplest and most satisfying way for your cup to be filled.”
- The First Forty Days, Heng Ou
5. Meal trains for families with toddlers/older kids:
Of course Mothers are always the main priority, but feeding toddlers can be a full time job. As a mom to two boys I definitely know this to be true! Adding in a few examples of things that your older kids enjoy eating too can be helpful to make sure there’s no stress around feeding the kids. See #6 for some more ideas for families with older kids.
6. Include breakfast/snack things too:
I’ve seen a lot of families get inundated with delicious meals for dinners and then struggle to have a good breakfast or healthy things to snack on throughout the day, but these are just as important as a hearty dinner! You can make a note for people that delicious breakfast items or yummy snacks are very welcome too. My favorite meal for anytime is QUICHE! It feels like the holy grail of meals—you can eat it for breakfast, lunch or dinner, load it with whatever is in season and it’s filling, fortifying, laden with protein and healthy fats, and easy to reheat or just eat cold!
I especially love including breakfast and snack items for families with toddlers/older kids who often need a steady stream of snacks along with new moms. Here’s a few other snack/breakfast ideas:
Homemade granola and plain yogurt.
Healthier cookies.
Baked oatmeal with lots of fruit is delicious and typically a huge hit with kids too.
Cut up fruit/veggies and a dip.
Again, quiche! I can’t stress how much I love a good quiche to have on hand.
A big batch of Chocolate Energy Bites featured in my blog post here.
7. How to support someone with food if you’re not a good cook:
Offer to grocery shop for them, get their list and add a few easy meal additions.
Make them a gift basket with fresh fruit, pancake mix, and real maple syrup and get creative with your own theme.
Pick up a bunch of your favorite (healthy) snack items. Things like nut mixes, Lara bars, dried fruit, and dark chocolate are great to have on hand.
Look up a recipe for a good postpartum smoothie and then make a bunch of ready to go smoothie jars for them to throw in the blender. Make sure you include any extra ingredients that don’t need to be frozen and an instructions sheet.
Gift cards to local restaurants who do quality takeout or to something like Daily Harvest so they can stock up with easy things to have on hand
See my blog post “Mother Focused Registry” and scroll down to the “Nourishing” section for some links and ideas for other food related gifts
8. How to navigate boundaries around meal drop offs:
Aka “just because you so kindly made me food, doesn’t mean you get to come in and hold the baby.”
Be comprehensive in your drop off instructions on the meal train
Have drop off time frames
Put a cooler outside your front door with a nice note explaining to put meals in the cooler and to please not ring the doorbell or knock in case the baby is sleeping.
People want to support and be seen and loved for it. I always like sending a quick “thank you” text so they know I appreciated their support, maybe a baby picture and an “excited to see you once we are able to!”
Maybe some people you’ll need to hold boundaries around, maybe others you DO want to invite in, and that’s great! I had a close friend and her husband bring us a meal during my postpartum. I was feeling a little lonely and wanted the company, so they stayed and ate with us, my friend perching on the side of my bed as we ate so I wasn’t alone. They did whatever dishes needed to be done after and then sat and folded a load of laundry while we chatted before they left. It was exactly what I needed, and I knew she was someone who would be truly supportive and not act as a “guest”.
9. If you or anyone in your house is sick with anything:
Please! DO NOT make food for someone else if anyone in your house is sick! You can either have something delivered, send them money for a meal, a grocery store gift card or just swap your day to when you’re all in the clear. Baby immune systems are delicate in the first couple months, and no family in postpartum land wants to get sick—it’s already hard enough.
10. Set up meal days to be every other day or every 2 days:
Although this is #10 it really is one of my favorite bits of advice for meal trains and one of the most common mistakes I see happen. Don’t set up meal drop offs so that people can bring food every single day. You’ll be inundated with too much food, struggle to keep up with leftovers and have your meal support stop far too soon. Have meal drop offs be every other day or even every two days (you can block off dates on the meal train setup to make this happen). This way you’ll be able to eat leftovers, maybe have your partner make something that you’ve really been craving, and most importantly, stretch your meal support way farther.
11. Use disposable containers:
It can be overwhelming either having a pile of casserole dishes and jars on your kitchen counter for weeks waiting to be returned and/or having to coordinate with people needing to get their dishes back. Do your best to deliver meals in disposable containers (you can find cardboard containers that are easier on the environment). Make a note of this on your meal train.
OR
If you get someones dish: keep a roll of painters tape and a sharpie on hand to label peoples dish so you remember whose container belongs to who. Better yet, if you’re dropping a meal off for someone and can’t use a disposable container, label your own dish! If you want to cut back on single use waste, I heard a great idea of thrifting cheap pyrex dishes to have on hand so you can drop off meals and not have to worry about getting them back! How great would it be if we had a couple extra dishes around we could just pass back and forth between friends to support each other. Talk about community care!
12. Be involved so you can help manage all of these things:
I definitely think you should have a friend be in charge of collecting people’s emails, sending your meal train out, and monitoring it so you don’t have to spend that time doing it all yourself. This allows you to be able to be involved in planning and setting your meal train criteria while also avoiding having it become a source of stress. This meal train is for YOU so that you can be nourished in every sense of the word.
