5 Ways to Support Yourself Without a Postpartum Doula
Working as a Postpartum Doula for a couple of years now, I’ve realized that postpartum support is really a unique hybrid blend of many different services mixed into one. If you don’t live in an area with access to a postpartum doula, this is the blog post for you! I’m going to break down some of the things that I do to support people so that you can pick and choose services to act as a substitute for a postpartum specific service!
1) Emotional Support
This is the #1 role I’ve found myself in. So much of postpartum work really feels like talk therapy. Of course, everything I do is really under the umbrella of “emotional support”, but active listening, being a judgement free space to verbally process everything a new mom goes through…this is ultimately the most important. You can sub with the following:
A therapist, bonus points for a therapist who specializes in mother mental health. There are so many amazing resources for therapy that doesn’t require you do leave your home, at least for a time I would encourage this, outside appointments are hard to make.
If money is a factor, I think a friend who can truly be there for you in a non-bias, non-judgmental way can be this type of support. Go to a friend you think could be this person for you BEFORE you have your baby and ask her to be your emotional support person. A word of caution to not just expect your partner to fill this role for you, they are also going through a huge shift and probably need the same type of support for themselves.
2) Food
Staying fully nourished during postpartum is so important and so hard to do when all of your attention is focused on feeding baby. All of the below tips should be done prenatally to prepare yourself for postpartum!
Start a Meal Train for yourself and click this link to find out my 12 tips to make the most of a meal train.
Prep freezer meals for yourself - have a freezer meal making party with friends - stock your pantry with all the essentials that you use most often and some healthy pre-made snacks - write down your favorite recipes for your partner to have access to - make a list of breakfast/snack/dinner ideas that you can reference when you need ideas.
Set up a meal kit service your partner can easily make for you
Either ask a helpful friend or family member to grocery shop for you postpartum, or research grocery delivery or grocery pickup services at your most visited grocery store.
3) Cleaning
Yes, I do clean for postpartum clients! This looks different for every household, but having a clean space reflects so much on mental health too!
Research your area and hire someone to come clean however often you need or can afford, even if it’s just once a month to deep clean, or just coming to address bathrooms, it can really go a long way towards feeling like things aren’t just falling apart at the seams, trust me!
As much as you’re able to before baby comes, organize, deep clean and PURGE! Set up your postpartum space with baskets to organize things, deep clean your kitchen so it can easily stay organized, label drawers if you need to. We all know clutter can add up to really feel unmanageable during the times that we can’t maintain our regular routines. What things can you just ditch and what systems can you put in place to help keep things manageable for you?
Laundry! So much laundry! Ask a friend or family member to do your laundry for you, or have a list in your laundry room with directions for how you wash things so that when people stop over they can easily pop a load in for you without a fuss. Some areas even have laundry pickup/delivery services too.
Lower your expectations. Honestly, your house is not going to be as clean as you normally like it. That’s just the fact of postpartum. No matter the systems we might put in place, it’s a good idea to have that emotional support we talked about so that when you inevitably feel like things are falling apart, you have someone to turn to who can remind you that your house isn’t actually a reflection of how good of a mother you are. It’s a season.
4) Birth Support
While postpartum doulas are unfortunately not as common, it’s awesome that birth doulas are! If you’re local to Traverse City area, please reach out and I’ll give you my favorite references to birth doulas in the area. If you’re not local, do your research and find someone who feels like a good fit for you. Birth support plays so intimately into how you feel supported postpartum. All of my favorite references for local doulas provide another element of support whether that’s breastfeeding support, birth story processing (so important!) postpartum support, home visits etc.
My own experience with home birth midwives was that they provided exceptional postpartum support unlike anything you would get from a traditional hospital/OB setting. Of course home birth is absolutely not for everyone, this goes without saying, but I will anyways: birth where you feel the safest and most comfortable. That being said, home birth midwives in my experience, provided in home emotional support, physical checks, breastfeeding support and were on call/text for me constantly to ask any questions or process anything I needed to.
5) Breastfeeding Support
Attend a breastfeeding class, you don’t need to know everything, but even just learning what a proper latch looks like is so important!
When you’re finding a pediatrician, take into account if they are supportive of breastfeeding, bonus if they have certifications around breastfeeding!
Find a birth doula who is also providing breastfeeding support!
Join a Le Leche League group or other supportive breastfeeding group of moms.
Research in home breastfeeding support, there might be something through your hospital, midwives or IBCLCs or Breastfeeding Counselors.
I hope this list has given you some tools you might not have thought about before in helping support yourself postpartum even if you don’t have access to a postpartum doula! There are soooo many things I could say on this topic, but I’ve tried to keep it short and accessible. Stay tuned for more tools to use when supporting yourself postpartum!