The 5 Universal Needs of Postpartum
This concept is taken from the book The Fourth Trimester by Kimberly Johnson, a truly revolutionary book that I highly recommend reading. She unpacks everything from the history of postpartum care to sexuality postpartum and of course unpacks these 5 universal needs of postpartum extensively. In this post I briefly outline these 5 needs in my own words and from my own perspective. I also recommend reading a copy of The Fourth Trimester if you’re expecting!
1. Rest
An expected, prepared for and strict period of rest is recognized in traditional cultures around the world. There are many names for this time and it ranges from 20 days to around 40, most landing closer to 40 days. Keeping this time sacred is seen as a non-optional path to wellness, not just during the postpartum period, but for the rest of a woman’s life after giving birth! I talk about the importance of rest postpartum often, and have found that most people don’t know the reason behind the physical need for rest! Read about why you need rest in this post!
You may not have the life circumstances to be able to lay in bed fully for 40 days, but that’s ok! I like the 5-5-5 rule: 5 days IN the bed, 5 days ON the bed and 5 days NEAR the bed. This allows for a slow entry back into a more normal pace. Again this doesn’t need to be literal, you can absolutely move onto a soft couch for a change of scene which can often be a healthy mental/emotional lift.
2. Nourishing Foods
Again, looking to other traditional cultures around the world, we see a pattern in postpartum food. Sweet, soft, nourishing, warm/warming and foods are traditional around the world to serve a postpartum mother. Sweet as in nutrient dense sugars like maple syrup or honey, as well as fruit, sweet potatoes etc. Nourishing as in things that are really bringing some nutrients to the table to help build up a mother’s store which is depleted after growing a baby, giving birth and breastfeeding if she is. Warm/warming as in literally warm foods, soups, stews etc and also warming as in warming spices, think cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger etc. There are many reasons why warming foods are encouraged (look into it!) but serving cooked foods also plays into the need for soft, easily digestible foods to help along a new mothers fragile digestion system.
If you want some recipe ideas for postpartum that check these marks, I use the Nouris(her) Doula E-cookbook the most for clients and also love the Held Postpartum Recipe Bundles for great snack recipes. The book The First Forty Days by Heng Ou has amazing Traditional Chinese postpartum recipes, as well as going into much more depth around the things I mentioned above, what the traditions are around them etc. So interesting!
Regardless of if you want to follow any traditions around postpartum nutrition, making sure you’re well fed is crucial to both physical and mental/emotional healing postpartum. Check out my Blog 12 Tips to Make the Most of a Meal Train here to get some great tips on keeping yourself fully nourished while also allowing for rest!
3. Loving Touch
This might sound like a funny one because so many mothers feel touched out while having a newborn constantly touching and needing them. Newborn snuggles are really the best, but they are required and not the only kind of touch you need postpartum. I like recommending firm “giving” touch for new moms. Giving touch doesn’t require anything of you and firm touch is actually nervous system regulating! A big, firm (but gentle) hug, a massage, I would even include things like belly binding or supportive postpartum leggings to help you feel physically supported and regulated. In some cultures daily postpartum massages are given for the first 40 days, can you imagine?! Whether or not you can get a professional massage, anyone can give a gentle back/shoulder rub, or my personal favorite, a firm hand massage for your tired mom hands, this can really relax your whole body, and can also help you feel connected to your partner during a time when sex is off the table. I think this idea of loving touch being so essential goes hand in hand with the next universal need of emotional support, the goal is to have the focus intentionally and lovingly on the often forgotten mother.
4. Emotional support and companionship
I have so much to say on this topic, as vitally important as all of the other needs are, this is absolutely one of the most important and often the most neglected need for new mothers. The fact is that we just don’t offer emotional support to our mothers. Mothers are too often alone and lonely, often not even recognizing their own company as familiar due to ever changing bodies, shifting perspectives and that feeling of living in a completely foreign territory. So much more, then, do we need to come around our new mothers, full of love, understanding, and offering a judgement free listening space. Mothers need that deep understanding that they are seen fully during a time that can feel so blurry and that so much is riding on. The companionship that comes from sitting on the end of a new mothers bed folding her laundry and listening to her birth story, or hearing her fears, celebrating her victories and giving her the space to process is priceless. Or sometimes I find that what is most helpful during a postpartum visit is to talk about something completely unrelated to her current phase of life, something that reconnects her with her past self; tell me about your favorite music, memories, what you love about baking, your favorite hobby etc. Emotional support might also look like a text, a phone call, looking at the mother and acknowledging her fully BEFORE cooing over her new baby.
5. Contact with Nature
“Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.”Mary Oliver, Wild Geese
Contact with nature feels important to me for several reasons; it reconnects you with the larger world, a reminder that, “meanwhile the world goes on”, it gives you perspective, the knowledge that you are an intimate part of the natural life cycles around us in nature, and of course, the healing properties of nature are undisputed. Sunshine, fresh air and exposure to nature in whatever form you might be able to get are often the very thing we need in order to stay grounded–literally! Nature played a huge role in my own postpartum with my youngest, I shuffled outside into a big lounge chair on our shaded patio in the backyard, even in the first week postpartum. The first little walk I did was to my garden to pull up a carrot that had continued to grow even as I was welcoming our baby into the world. Resting out in nature during my second postpartum, brought a literal ray of sunshine into that time for me and helped my experience be so much more full and grounded. Ways you can incorporate contact with nature during any season or circumstance are:
Thinking about where the light falls in your bedroom and moving your bed or nursing chair into the sun or to take advantage of the best view out the window
Bringing the outside in with fresh wildflowers or even seasonal dried grass arrangements depending on the time of year
Opening your windows to allow a fresh breeze into your healing space, if it’s cold bundle you and baby up under covers and keep eachother warm
When you’re able to, a short, gentle and mindful walk outside even if its just to the garden, or around your house. Maybe in the early days it’s even just stepping out the door for 60 seconds of deep breathing the fresh air.
Using herbs in herbal baths, teas etc can feel like contact with nature and provides other healing benefits as well.
I hope that getting a glimpse into these 5 universal needs of postpartum has helped give you an understanding as to how to either give yourself what you need for your own postpartum, or helped you understand how best to support a new mother in your life. Check out this blog post 5 Simple Ways to Support a New Mom for more ideas!